It's so true what you are saying! Specially with the selfawareness. I experienced a lot of judgement because my life is different. I'm single and have no kids, I'm 42, but I want to enjoy my life. Some friends don't understand…. I would love to meet some new friends. I'm curious if here are some people from the south of germany, near Freiburg?
These are such great tips! I struggle ALOT with making friends! Always have! I am most of the time reaching out to check in on others. But rarely are those Connections reaching out to me. I have withdrawn ALOT lately because of the hurt and rejection! I find people are just too busy that honestly they don't care. It makes me so sad as I would love to have some deep and thoughtful friendships. I'm in my mid fifties and I think it does get harder as you get older.
Jessica, I just love your warmth, and wisdom. I have always struggled to make and maintain friends, and I guess being extremely shy, doesn’t really help! ❤
Beautiful insights! I especially loved the ‘go slow’ part, and tell people what bothered me instead of ghosting. I am gen X with a much younger heart, mainly because I have a gen Z daughter. 🙂
I think once we have done enough inner work and know how to nurture ourselves, we can get really good at being alone happily without feeling lonely, and friendships become nourishing energy exchanges I have with my friends and them to me.
I usually go with how I feel and my intuition, and my friends generally share the following qualities (1) kind, (2) have done some inner work either in psychology or spirituality (3) someone who is aware of masculine and feminine energies and knows how to harmonize at least most of the time these energies both individually and collectively. I cannot do 100% yet 🙂
I agree with everything you have said except for one thing, Jessica. I believe that friends who have had children should not be excused above all else and always. Of course, it is true that this is a completely new experience in someone's life and new responsibilities, but many people are able to reconcile this new situation with friendship. They can keep in touch, message you and simply ask how life's going, and even meet up from time to time. If they really care, they will find this one single moment to reach you out. Yes, when the child is a newborn, these first months can be completely turned upside down for a parent, but with time, if after a year/two or three since your friend gave birth, she constantly keeps forgetting to message you back or does not remember about you at all, having the whole family by her side who help every day, you are simply not even at the end of her priority list. And it's not okay when you always have to be the understanding person, who accepts the lack of contact. It's not okay to be always the person who has to listen about her family life and her motherhood. I deserve to be heard and respected with the life I have. Because it's mine. The fact that someone does not have children does not make them less important, without their personal life and problems. Very often women are considered to be incomplete without children and old friends who decided on becoming a parent may start to feel that we cannot participate in their lives anymore, like we used to, because we are unable to understand 'the real life' they have just begun. But it says all about them, not me. The truth is that people do change and sadly, this change does not always goes in the good direction because sometimes it turns out we were needed only at a certain stage of their lives. And when we are taken advantage of for some reason, it is not a true friendship to me. The line between being a person full of understand and a people pleaser is actually very thin. I can understand a lot but I set my boundaries as well. My life isn't less important and we all equally deserve love and attention in friendship, no matter what our life path is.
Have you ever watched the You Tube channel French Vibes? I think you should make friends with her. She lives a slow simple life in the South of France! So think you should get yourself down there!
Reaching out and making the effort has clicked with me. Thank you Jessica. I think we can get so caught up in our lives, parts of it drift away and you have to keep on working at it to keep them in your stream x
Oh such an important topic Jess! Im feeling so let down and burnt out by friendships this last few years, I’m honestly just not even sure if I can be bothered anymore. I have agenda’d this in my mind for therapy. I don’t mind nice school run chit chats but anything on a deeper level is just very high risk. Interesting what you say about main character energy because it this really rings true – egos are a weird and wonderful thing. You know when you were younger and it was all just fun?! How do we make that happen later in life?! ❤❤
Rejection is Redirection. Never thought of it like that. Makes so much sense. Lots of good advice . Thank you. I will be moving away from the area I am currently living in and will want to make new friends. X
Oh Jessica. I wrote notes during this. I think that says a lot. I had a friendship break down over 18 months ago. And it was devastating. Certainly the worst break up I’ve ever had. I walked away from the best friend I have ever had. And I know I did what I had to do. But I have been so lonely. Onwards though…I have my notes…I will make some affirmations. One day I will make progress. Thank you for this xx
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Thank you for this video! I needed this right now. ❤
It's so true what you are saying! Specially with the selfawareness. I experienced a lot of judgement because my life is different. I'm single and have no kids, I'm 42, but I want to enjoy my life. Some friends don't understand…. I would love to meet some new friends. I'm curious if here are some people from the south of germany, near Freiburg?
These are such great tips! I struggle ALOT with making friends! Always have! I am most of the time reaching out to check in on others. But rarely are those Connections reaching out to me. I have withdrawn ALOT lately because of the hurt and rejection! I find people are just too busy that honestly they don't care. It makes me so sad as I would love to have some deep and thoughtful friendships. I'm in my mid fifties and I think it does get harder as you get older.
Jessica, I just love your warmth, and wisdom. I have always struggled to make and maintain friends, and I guess being extremely shy, doesn’t really help! ❤
Beautiful insights! I especially loved the ‘go slow’ part, and tell people what bothered me instead of ghosting. I am gen X with a much younger heart, mainly because I have a gen Z daughter. 🙂
I think once we have done enough inner work and know how to nurture ourselves, we can get really good at being alone happily without feeling lonely, and friendships become nourishing energy exchanges I have with my friends and them to me.
I usually go with how I feel and my intuition, and my friends generally share the following qualities (1) kind, (2) have done some inner work either in psychology or spirituality (3) someone who is aware of masculine and feminine energies and knows how to harmonize at least most of the time these energies both individually and collectively. I cannot do 100% yet 🙂
What’s your key qualities are in a friend?
Wisdom, mes amies. ❤
I agree with everything you have said except for one thing, Jessica. I believe that friends who have had children should not be excused above all else and always. Of course, it is true that this is a completely new experience in someone's life and new responsibilities, but many people are able to reconcile this new situation with friendship. They can keep in touch, message you and simply ask how life's going, and even meet up from time to time. If they really care, they will find this one single moment to reach you out. Yes, when the child is a newborn, these first months can be completely turned upside down for a parent, but with time, if after a year/two or three since your friend gave birth, she constantly keeps forgetting to message you back or does not remember about you at all, having the whole family by her side who help every day, you are simply not even at the end of her priority list. And it's not okay when you always have to be the understanding person, who accepts the lack of contact. It's not okay to be always the person who has to listen about her family life and her motherhood. I deserve to be heard and respected with the life I have. Because it's mine. The fact that someone does not have children does not make them less important, without their personal life and problems. Very often women are considered to be incomplete without children and old friends who decided on becoming a parent may start to feel that we cannot participate in their lives anymore, like we used to, because we are unable to understand 'the real life' they have just begun. But it says all about them, not me. The truth is that people do change and sadly, this change does not always goes in the good direction because sometimes it turns out we were needed only at a certain stage of their lives. And when we are taken advantage of for some reason, it is not a true friendship to me. The line between being a person full of understand and a people pleaser is actually very thin. I can understand a lot but I set my boundaries as well. My life isn't less important and we all equally deserve love and attention in friendship, no matter what our life path is.
Have you ever watched the You Tube channel French Vibes? I think you should make friends with her. She lives a slow simple life in the South of France! So think you should get yourself down there!
Reaching out and making the effort has clicked with me. Thank you Jessica. I think we can get so caught up in our lives, parts of it drift away and you have to keep on working at it to keep them in your stream x
Such good advice, thank you! ☺️
Oh such an important topic Jess! Im feeling so let down and burnt out by friendships this last few years, I’m honestly just not even sure if I can be bothered anymore. I have agenda’d this in my mind for therapy. I don’t mind nice school run chit chats but anything on a deeper level is just very high risk. Interesting what you say about main character energy because it this really rings true – egos are a weird and wonderful thing. You know when you were younger and it was all just fun?! How do we make that happen later in life?! ❤❤
It’s harder to make friends when getting older and get rid of friends when younger because you’ve changed as a person
Rejection is Redirection. Never thought of it like that. Makes so much sense. Lots of good advice . Thank you. I will be moving away from the area I am currently living in and will want to make new friends. X
Oh Jessica. I wrote notes during this. I think that says a lot. I had a friendship break down over 18 months ago. And it was devastating. Certainly the worst break up I’ve ever had. I walked away from the best friend I have ever had. And I know I did what I had to do. But I have been so lonely. Onwards though…I have my notes…I will make some affirmations. One day I will make progress. Thank you for this xx
What a wonderful and insightful commentary with practical advices on adult friendship.